Fucking Patriotism.

Big fucking day today. Ingerlund have Trinidad and Tobago. Man I’m excited. Fucking excited. But I also want to talk about another issue. An issue that affects us all; fucking Patriotism.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love Ingerlund. I am from Canadia, I live in Germany, I own Japanese T.V’s, drive an Italian car, eat Mexican food. But I love Ingerlund so fucking much that I decided to offer my services to them over any other country.

The problem is this;

Car flags + heat = fucking deaths.

Fucking deadly.

In the heat of Ingerlund, a car flag means you can not wind down your window to get much needed fresh air. This has resulted in a huge number of deaths. The effing government have been reluctant to release any actual information but just by looking at the figures it paints a pretty clear fucking picture.

For example lets pick a country at complete random, maybe, Scotland lets say. Now as we all know they failed to qualify for the soccer world cup, their patriotism is at an all time fucking low, in fact it barley registers. Therefore they do not have car flags.

Last month in Scotland only 4,500 people (approx.) died.

Last month in Ingerlund 11,000 people (approx.) died.

Therefore an extra 6,500 people are killed in Ingerlund every fucking month. And the only factor possible is the use of car-fucking-flags.

A men died in this week just last week. The mother-fucking-police said it was a suicide (he appartently shot himself in the face). Fucking cover-up, look at the flag, the silent killer!

So I beg you, put them in your garden, in your bedroom, wear them if you fucking must, but please, don’t die loving Ingerlund.